So it’s a friend’s birthday and the celebration is going down at a beer garden. He and I are close but our individual circles aren't, at the end of the day though I’m a familiar face plus we all went to school together so I'm not stressed.
I get there and it’s solid, everybody’s happy to see everybody and I end up playing a game of giant Jenga with some friends. I’m really trying to focus on this game when suddenly a guy appears. He starts chatting up my friend so I think she knows him but nah, I can see the focus in her eyes, she’s determined to win this game and not to acknowledge this man's existence.
I’m trying to figure out who this man is and it’s distracting me from the task at hand. Unfortunately I've never been good at ignoring people and inadvertently allow this man into our space by genuinely acknowledging his presence. He makes his way around and gets closer to me, only to start critiquing my form. “Don’t pull that one, never do that, pull this one".
How about you BACK UP and let me lose in peace. Anyway we all start to give him the cold shoulder and he sees he's getting iced out. Then in what I'm assuming was a moment of desperation, given he’s wasn't really getting any openings to naturally transition into his real purpose for being there, he just jumped into it -
“Hey do any of you guys do lines?”
I didn’t hear him though, I heard “do any of you guys mumblemumblemumble”
And I, completely absorbed in this game of Jenga, of course absentmindedly responded “yeah man of course”.
“Oh dude that’s awesome, I’ll be in the back, come find me and we’ll talk price".
Wait hold up, come again? I didn’t actually hear you the first time.
“Sure sure, I asked if any of you guys do lines”
Lines? Like the drumline? Nah AU didn’t have a marching band when I was there. A line of what? A line of credit? A line of longitude or latitude? You selling maps? You talking lines like y=mx+b? I could help you with your homework. Lionel Richie? Lion-O from the Thundercats? Lionel Messi? Sorry, Real Madrid over here boss. Line for the bar is looking steep though, that’s what you mean? I don’t wait in line for people, sorry.
“So yeah I start at a grand, but I’ve got complimentary lines re-”
I don't do drugs bro but wait, you're telling me that I came out here to this beer garden to support my friend, and not two hours into the event you, a complete stranger, are offering me drugs for one. thousand. dollars? I couldn't even process it. Is that not wild to y'all? This is how y’all do business? A GRAND?? This coke about to pay my rent? This coke about to pay my loans? Take me on vacation? If I even get seen near this stuff I'm getting 25 to life. Stop the madness.
I don't have a price reference but I don't even care. Those prices could've been high, low, or right on point it doesn't matter, any man who even thinks about charging me one thousand dollars is trying to hustle me. What a joke. Long story short I lost the game of Jenga. I don’t know if he sold any coke that night but if he looked at me and thought “yeah, this’ll probably work” sales weren't looking good. I wish him the best. Don't do drugs. God speed.